This morning, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and stumbled upon a solider telling his story of how after returning from the current wars, he suffered from PTSD to the point of nearly committing suicide. Reading his vivid description of the moments before his life was saved touched me in such a way that I’m still struggling to put into words for my own understanding. It made me think about how everyone has a story. We often try so hard to hide what we’re going through, appear to be “ok” and “have it all together” on the outside when nothing could be further from the truth. Inside, we’re complete wrecks in need of a hug. We never know who we may help if we just tell our story…unashamed, in vivid detail, without a sugar coat. Life is so short and we spend a lot of time trying to make the next moment better rather than just enjoying the moment we are currently experiencing.
A difficult, yet necessary task is ahead of me. Fear has told me over and over again that I don’t have to do it. But I know better. I can’t afford not to walk on through this. I’m just praying for the strength and wisdom to handle it all properly so that it helps and doesn’t do more harm than good. Some may wonder why even post this? It’s personal and everything isn’t for public eyes. Well, today, this is my story. I’m a scared, mother. I’m not alone. There are many like me. Because my story isn’t unique, I know, like so many before me and so many after me, I’ll make it through. There’s strength on the other side of the fear. You put your big girl panties on and strut.
Today, I’m grateful for:
1. Help when I need it most
2. Security (I’m learning to trust it)
3. Traveling grace
4. Open communication
5. Right now…
The Gift of 365 Days 